WAIT

Hi!! I know it's been a while! But here goes!

Wait. - Author unknown

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried:

Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.

I pled and I wept for a clue to my fat,

And the master so gently said, “Child, you must wait.’

“Wait? You say, wait?” my indignant reply.

“Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!

Is your hand shortened? Or have you no heard?

By faith, I have asked, and am claiming your word.

My future and all to which I can relate

Hangs in the balance, and YOU say WAIT?

I’m needing a ‘yes’, a go-ahead sign,

Or even a ‘no’ to which I can resign.

And Lord, You promised that if we believe

We need but to ask, and we shall receive.

And Lord, I’ve been asking, and this is my cry:

I’m weary of asking! I need a reply!

Then quietly, soft, I learned of my fate

As my Master replied once again, “You must wait.”

So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut

And grumbled to God, “so, I’m waiting…for what?”

He seemed, then, to kneel, and his eyes wept with mine,

And he tenderly said, “I could give you a sign.

I could shake the heaven, and darken the sun.

I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run.

All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be.

You would have what your want – But, you wouldn’t have me.

You’d not know the depth of My love for each saint;

You’d not know the power that I give to the faint;

You’d not learn to see through the clouds of despair;

You’d not learn to tryst just by knowing I’m there;

You’d not know the joy of resting in Me

When darkness and silence were all you could see

You’d never experience that fullness of love

As the peace of my spirit descends like a dove;

You’d know that I give and I save…(for a start)

But you’d not know that depth of the beat of My heart.

The glow of My comfort late into the night,

The faith that I give when you walk without sight,

The depth that’s beyond getting just what you asked

Of an infinite God, who makes what you have LAST.

You’d never know, should your pain quickly flee,

What is means that ‘My grace is sufficient for thee’

Yes, your dreams for your loved one over night would come true,

But, Oh, The Loss! If I lost what I’m doing in you!

So, be silent, My child, and in time you will see

That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.

And though oft’ may My answers seem terribly late,

My most precious answer of all is still, “WAIT”.

That was Massive! If you read it nice work!

Sometimes (especially lately) I feel as though I am living out this poem. How often do we question what we are doing with our lives? How often do we ask what is it I am meant to be doing? I admit I can be terribly impatient especially when it is something I really want! Like food when I am hungry, the correct direction when I am lost, and an answer to my pray when I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing. Here’s the thing I am finding that I am learning the most about who I am and who god is when I have to wait for answers. Don’t get my wrong I still get so frustrated, especially when someone asks me what I’m doing with my life!

I think young adults feel as though so much pressure is being place on them in today’s world. Go to university, get a good job, get married, buy a house, start a family. This pressure being placed by society, family, and friends, but the thing I am realising lately is it’s all me! I am the one placing the pressure and just using ‘society’ to blame. I understand that others may have a different view however I am so blessed to have a family that have never been super controlling and have always let me make my own choices, I have friends that come from all different ends of the spectrum and I really haven’t ever cared about what ‘society’ thinks of me. So… why now? Why have I placed all this pressure onto myself now? Is it because I am growing up? Is it because those around me at this point in time seem to have their lives in order? Or is it simply the fact that I lost sight of what was actually really important to me and who I am as a person?... BINGO!

I lost sight of what I love, of what make me tick, and of the passions that God specifically placed on my heart! That is why I have been getting the answer ‘wait’! If I don’t know what I love, then how am I going to figure out what I will do? I need to realine what is important to me and rediscover what I love.

Moving to Brisbane was the correct decision! Don’t get me wrong it has come with struggles, a few teary skype dates with my folks and friends but over all it has been the greatest. I am doing what I enjoy to some extent. I am refereeing rugby here at I higher level then I was in Townsville. I have found a great church and made some good friends! I am still playing music, and I have found a job that I do enjoy to some extent. So why am I constantly asking the ‘calling’ question of god. It is because I know that I am made for more. We all are, we are all called to be greater then who we are! We are all called to do greater then what we do. And we all called to live much bigger lives then we can imagine. God IS faithful, and God IS good, we just need to be patient.

When we get the answer ‘wait’ it isn’t because God likes to see us in frustration or he enjoys seeing us squirm. It is because something is being done within us. We are becoming a stronger person and we are receiving the greatest gift of all. Getting to know the one God created us to be, through getting to know HIM.

So, next time I complain about this very topic you can remind me of this! Because it is bound to happen! I am only human!

Love, Chyna.

Friendships

I've never found it too hard to make friends. I have always been the loud, confident and comfortable in her surroundings girl. I have never been the new kid. I grew up in the same, reasonable sized town where everyone kind of knew each other and if they didn’t it was pretty easy to find someone that did. It was easy for me to make ‘friends’.

But now… I’m the new kid, surrounded by a bunch of people I don’t know! I moved to Brisbane knowing a couple of people here and there from over the years. But nothing too solid, no one that I could really call a close friend. This was daunting in itself, because although I love meeting people and love making ‘friends’, it is hard for me to form a friendship full of depth quickly, and my close friends will testify to this. It takes time. For anyone.

So 9 or 10 weeks down the track and I almost feel like I did when I first arrived here. Don’t get me wrong I have met some people here that I loved instantly and know we will become friends but when does it get too that point? When has anyone really formed a genuine friendship?

Has anyone ever actually thought about friendship? How do you personally define it? Who are your true friends? And who are simply your acquaintances? Are you making the new kid feel welcome?

To get to the point….I miss my friends. The end.

DO YOU LOVE THE LIFE YOU LIVE?

I guess I ask my self this question pretty often. Do I love the life I live? Because if not, then why not?

Just recently I made a pretty big move. I packed up my bags, said goodbye to my family and friends, filled my car with petrol and drove to Brisbane. Given I have left before this time was different, I always had the intention of coming back, this time there was no set date to permanently come ‘home’. Who knows there might never be, but that is the most exciting part.

Growing up in Townsville was by far the greatest way to grow up, I had my family around and I made great friends. Townsville has just enough culture to make you thirst for more, it has just enough to do that you are driven to do more, and you learn just enough about the world that you want explore more. For me – it was a perfect way to start my journey. But there comes a point, a point where you need to move on. I love Townsville (there you go! It’s out there! Chyna really does love Townsville!) But for me now, at this point, it just wasn’t enough. I had outgrown my surroundings, and only because it taught me to want more.

So here I am in Brisbane, with a very limited amount of friends, no family in my immediate surroundings and no idea what the next few years really has to offer me, and yet I’m completely content, completely happy. Why? Because I know this is exactly where I’m meant to be for the moment. I am doing exactly what I’m meant to be doing. It may not be hanging with orphans in Mexico, working with youth in Newcastle, or being at home chilling with my family but it is where I am meant to be, so I am content and happy with that. I love the life I live! And I am excited for what the world throws my way!

Just a word from me :)

Welcome! My first official blog :) Thankyou for joining me! For a while now I have been following and reading others blogs however never kept my own. I have come to realise that is seems like a great way to get thoughts and feelings out. If I have something to say why not share it with the world on the internet. Once i'ts out there I can never take it back! kind of exciting in a way!. So anyway i hope you all enjoy the mess that is my mind.